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The host, Odysseus |
*Intro music begins softly slowly growing louder*
Live from the House of Hades, its OOOOOOOOOOOODYSSEUS!
*Odysseus walk out to a standing ovation from the audience*
Odysseus: Oh stop it! Stop it! I can't handle it! Thank you all for being here this afternoon and welcome to the show. Today we will have the wonderful opportunity to speak with some brave souls, FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!
Audience: OOOOOOOO
Odysseus: Our first guest will be the beautiful, amazing and most amazing mother ever, Anticleia!
*Audience applause enthusiastically*
*Out walks Anticleia*
Anticleia: *sitting down across from Odysseus* Thank you! Thank you for such the kind welcome.
Odysseus: Welcome to the show Anticleia! We are so glad to have you hear today. How are you feeling?
Anticleia: I'm dead tired to be quite honest.
*Audience bursts into laughter*
Odysseus: Oh Anticleia! Always with the puns. So please share with us, what is the after life like? We want to hear it all! The good, the bad, the ugly!
Anticleia: Honestly it is extremely lonely. I missed you so much Odysseus while you were away on your long journey that it drove my soul from my body. Although my heart is cold and still, I feel warmer and more alive now being near you than I have since you departure.
Odysseus: Well mother the feeling is mutual, and I'm sure our audience is just as happy to have you here as I am. Isn't that right folks?!
*Audience burst into applause and cheers*
Odysseus: So lets get down to the nitty gritty. What has been the most horrifying thing about the underworld?
Anticleia: Wow, it's so hard to narrow it down to one specific thing! The thought of never escaping is awful. Knowing that you will never be able to hold your loved ones against haunts my every moment. But by far the worst thing.....Spirits have awful breath!
*Audience laughs uncontrollably*
Odysseus: *chuckling* You don't say? That of all things is what makes life as eternally undead unbearable?
Anticleia: You have no idea. For some reason every one's breath smells of rotting teeth. You can't make this stuff up.
Odysseus: Well I guess breath mints and mouth wash are not common items in the House of Hades. I can't wait to hear more of what it's like on the inside loop of the spirits of the underworld!
Anticleia: Oh trust me, I have more stories than you have years.
Odysseus: Well we will get to as many of them as we can, right after this commercial break!
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Odysseus and his audience |
Author's Note:
The original basis for this story was from Homer's Odyssey specifically the story of The Spirit of Anticleia. This is when Odysseus is in the House of Hades and sees his deceased mother. They talk for sometime about how things are back home in Ithaca and how she came to dwell in the underworld. It is a very somber and saddening story about a mother and son separated. I decided to take the complete opposite approach to it and make it a humorous and light hearted encounter. To make this possible, I placed it in the middle of a day time talk show since those are usually fun and casual in subject matter.
Bibliography:
Homer's Odyssey: The Spirit of Anticleia as translated to English by Tony Kline