Storytelling: Buried in wealth

Scrooge was the richest man in town, and he made sure everyone knew it. When he walked through the streets, he always wore his nicest coat and made sure to carry his gold plated cane. He would stroll up and down the streets of town, paying no mind to the beggars that lined the streets and that were on every corner. Even though he ignored their very existence, some of them would still ask him to donate to them, which he always declined with a scoff and hearty laugh.

One day, when he was walking home from the bank, he passed by a new beggar who sat on the curb looking cold and down trodden. He walked by her like all the rest until he heard a man behind him speaking. He turned around and saw the man hand the homeless women a single coin. Although it was a humble contribution and foolish in Scrooge's opinion, Scrooge felt guilty and began walking back towards the two.

"Excuse me sir," said Scrooge. "Could I trouble you for a coin to give to this poor woman? I would give of my own money but I only have large bills due to my immense wealth."

Un-phased by his bragging, the man lent Scrooge a coin to give to the woman. When Scrooge came back, the man asked "so when can I reclaim the coin that you owe to me?"

"Come tomorrow and I promise I will have small enough change to pay you," instructed Scrooge.

And with those instructions, the man and Scrooge parted ways. The next day, the man came to Scrooge's place of business to collect his money. Scrooge turned him away however, declaring that his wealth was still far too large to break into smaller change. The man stated that he would return the next day to claim his repayment.

The next day, Scrooge was hard at work balancing his books when he saw the man coming down the street towards his Savings & Loans business. Fed up and exhausted with the constant visits, Scrooge decided the only way to get rid of the persistent man was to fake his own death. Right as the man knocked on the door and came in, Scrooge keeled over and pretended to die. The man saw through this trick immediately because he had seen Scrooge spying on him through the window. However, the man decided to go with the shenanigans and beat Scrooge at his own game.

"Oh woe poor Ebenezer Scrooge! Deceased far before his time!" cried out the man. "He deserves the proper burial of a righteous man."

With that declaration, the man began making arrangements for a proper funeral. He called a florist, a concert pianist, a funeral home, a coffin maker, and a priest. He considered making invitations to the funeral for family and friends before he realized this was Ebenezer Scrooge and he obviously would not have anyone attending.

He hosted the ceremony that afternoon at the grave yard behind the town church. Together, he and the priest put Scrooge to rest and as they were lowering his coffin into the ground, Scrooge finally broke character and jumped out of the hole.

"Wait! Wait! Please don't bury me for I am still very much alive," pleaded Scrooge.

"Oh what great work of magic! I am quite glad you are awake after all," teased the man. "In that case I believe you owe me a coin plus the cost of all the funeral arrangements."

Begrudgingly, Scrooge paid back the borrowed coin and all the costs that had been spent on his fake funeral. After paying back the man, Scrooge vowed to never borrowed money from anyone again. While Scrooge did not really learn the lesson that was intended, the man was glad that Scrooge would not try to pull the same trick on someone else ever again. And with all the funds he had recovered from the cost of the funeral, he went and donated it to the towns shelter/soup kitchen so that Scrooge's money would end up helping the less fortunate, whether he liked it or not.

Ebenezer Scrooge 

Author's Note: I was inspired by the Russian Folktale: The Miser. There is a rich and stingy man who borrows a coin from a poor man to give to a beggar. The poor man happily does so but comes back day after day to be paid back. The Miser never pays him and even fakes his own death. Right before he is buried, the Miser stops faking and together him and the poor man see band of robbers as they run away frighten. Together the Miser and the poor man divided up the robbers riches but the Miser never actually paid the poor man back. In the spirit of the holidays, I wrote my story around Scrooge from a Christmas Carol. He is stingy and rich just like the Miser and neither of them like donating to others. I wanted some justice in the story though, so the poor man gets Scrooge to stop faking his death and pay up plus some. As a bonus kick. the poor man takes Scrooge's money and donates it to organizations designed to help people. I thought it was a nice and snarky thing to do.

Bibliography: Russian Fairy Tales by W. R. S. Ralston (1887). The Miser