After a few more hours of play, Mufasa and the other lions decided it was time to start the journey back to the pride land. They rounded up all the cubs and set off on their journey home. Everything was going smoothly with the journey until about the second day when Mufasa and Nala realized they had not seen their son Simba in quite some time. They looked to see if he was talking to the elders of the pride but he was not with them. They sought out the cubs to see if he was playing with them but he was not with them. They checked with the mothers to see if he had offered to help them with their young but he was not with them. Slowly his parents realized they had not seen Simba since they set off for home. Riddled with grief and anxiety about the whereabouts of their son, Mufasa and Simba told the others to set up camp where they were while they both went back to find Simba.
Mufasa and Nala began the long trek back to the hunting grounds they had been at. The entire way there, they were concerned about their son, looking for him as they traveled back to where they had come from. Eventually, they reached the hunting grounds but did not see Simba anywhere. As they continued to search, they found him in a nearby cave surrounded by the elders of the baboon tribe. He was talking to them about the order of the pride land and how the entire ecosystem was balanced and how to maintain harmony with in the tribe. His parents were astonished at his wisdom and silently stayed at the opening of the cave until he had finished his stories. Once the elder baboons began to disperse, his mother confronted him, concerned that he had wandered but curious about the extent of his wisdom.
"Simba, why did you not stay with the pride? Why did you stay behind with these strangers?" Nala asked.
"Mother, no creature that walks the same earth and breaths the same air is a stranger. Should you not be overjoyed that I am sharing the knowledge you have instilled in me? Or at least be proud of the image I represent on behalf of our pride," Simba replied.
With that Nala was stunned and had no response. But she took his words and considered them deeply, vowing to never forget them. Simba apologized for worrying both her and his father and together the family set off to go meet the rest of the tribe and finish their long journey back to the pride land.
Bibliography:
Infancy Gospel as told by the apostles Luke and Mathew
Author's note:
I chose to write this story based on the story of when Jesus, Mary and Joseph were traveling from Jerusalem. His parents realized he was not with them and turned around to search for him in Jerusalem. H had stayed behind to speak to some of the high priest there and shared his wisdom and insight. When his parents finally found him in the temple, they were confused as to why he stayed behind and the great knowledge he was sharing with he elders. This made me think a little of the Disney movie the Lion King because of how independent Simba was in the movie. I could imagine him running off to go on some big adventure alone and worrying his mother and father to death. I wanted to try storytelling with animals but retain some of the tone that was used in the original story in the Infancy Gospel . I also wanted to use parallelism by repeating the phrase "but he was not with them." I felt like the phrase added a tone similar to the Bible to my story. I was nervous about writing this story at first but once I got this thought in my mind it was fairly easy to write.
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| Simba, Nala and Mufasa |
Savannah, I really enjoyed your story. It was very well written and you used some awesome vocab to describe everything that was going on in the story. I thought it was very unique how you compared that bible story to the Lion King, id had never thought of it like that. I think your story turned out awesome and I cant wait to read more throughout the semester!
ReplyDeleteI started reading this story because I recognized the character names from The Lion King. I love that movie so it definitely caught my attention! But I also wanted to keep reading because I was curious as to where it was going. I wanted to know what amazing things Simba said to people, and later on I wanted to find out where he had disappeared to without his pride. I think you succeeded in keeping the audience interested!
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do think that you might be able to elaborate more on this story, or add more details. I kind of wanted to see more of Simba’s backstory, like the other things he said to people that were beyond his years. Or maybe the reactions of the other animals when they found out about his wisdom.
I think you did a great job overall with this, and I enjoyed it!
Savannah, I loved this story—and your other stories as well! This one was particularly fun to read because I love The Lion King. It has always been one of my favorite movies. I was really surprised when I got to the end and saw that it was based on a Bible story. I think you did such a good job of modifying the setting and characters. But at the same time, I could see the similarities after you explained them. I also really liked the dialog you added. It helped give some depth to the story and let me understand the characters better! My only critique—and it’s a very small one—is that Simba’s mom’s name is actually Sarabi. Nala is his girlfriend! I think that this story is an awesome first addition to your portfolio. I’m excited to see what else you add as the semester goes on.
ReplyDeleteSavannah,
ReplyDeleteI like how you took a biblical story of Jesus and put it into context using familiar characters like Simba and his family.
I did notice one error in your story though. When Mufasa and Nala tell the remainder of the pride to set up camp while they return to look for Simba you wrote that Mufasa and SIMBA told the pride to set up camp not Mufasa and Nala. It is at the end of the second paragraph. Just a minor detail, the story did not loose its momentum that you built for it. Will you incorporate Simba's friends into the story eventually? I would love to see Pumbaa and Timon becoming Simba's apostles.
I look forward to you incorporating Simba and his adventures into the context of Jesus and his spread of Christianity. You are really adding a new light to a childhood classic and favorite the way you are relating the pride to Christianity. Will you incorporate Scar by making him a figure similar to Judas?
Wow, I didn’t know that you based this story on the Bible until I read your Author’s Note, but I was thinking about mentioning how your story sounds like story where Mary and Joseph found Jesus in the temple. I definitely didn’t see this coming. I have never thought of the similarity between the two stories: the Bible and Lion King. It’s very novel to me to view the Bible’s story in different perspective. Although you described how Mufasa and Nala worried about Simba gone missing, I don’t feel much anxiety in the story. What do you think to tell the story in Mufasa or Nala’s perspective? In addition, I think Mufasa and Nala would be mad at Simba at first for staying behind without informing them, but your story didn’t give any sign that they are upset. Do you think they trust Simba too much for his young age? Overall, you did very well in telling the story in different setting.
ReplyDeleteHey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteI have to admit this was a great inspirational story... I did not expect at all that it will be linked to a biblical story but once I read your author's note everything made sense I like how you wrote your story with different characters but still was able to get almost the same moral and reach the same point. Your story is very well written however I think that it might be a little bit better adding more characters to the story to bring more action in order to make the story more alive. You could also make Simba wiser and talk about who he becomes later in your story. Moreover, what could be easier to develop is a more detailed story that Simba tells to the Baboon tribe. Anyway, your story was very good to read and I look forward to your future portfolio stories. Thanks for sharing.
First off, the idea of combining this biblical story with The Lion King was pretty much brilliant—the stories line up better than I ever would’ve expected them to, and I figure a lot of that is because of the way you carefully framed this story, and the slightly detached tone.
ReplyDeleteI really don’t see much you could improve on, except a little typo in the paragraph that beings with “After a few more hours of play”—towards the end of the paragraph, there’s a sentence that says “Mufasa and Simba,” when it looks like you mean “Mufasa and Nala.” Also, I’m not sure if you have room for this, but you might also consider adding more dialogue if you can—I think the dialogue you do have really made the story more engaging, and gave a personal note to the narrative.
Overall, I really enjoyed this, and I’m really curious to see if future stories in your portfolio end up related to this, or follow different plot lines.
Hey there Savannah, I really enjoyed this story. Initially, I wondered how you were going to make this story any different than the age old Lion King movie, but then I quickly realized this story took a turn when you had Simba speaking to the tribe of baboons. I think this not only shows that Simba is more mature than I expected but it also added a new flare to the story. I appreciated that your author’s note explained that your vison for the story and that it went far deeper than just a retelling of the movie. I love that your inspiration for the story came from the Bible, it gave the story more depth and made it more rich. Thank you for sharing!! Looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Savannah, the first thing that I noticed when I clicked on your portfolio was that your Portfolio Guide was not at the very top of your Portfolio. I think Laura gave us instructions on how to automatically make that the first thing on your portfolio, so that should just be a quick little fix! Anyways, I really like how your Portfolio has this overall theme of family. It made me interested to read your stories! I decided to read the “Simba Strays from the Pride” story because it sounded like a spinoff from Disney’s The Lion King. I was somewhat familiar with the original version of the story, but the Author’s Note is really informative and gives the audience a good amount of background information so that they can see the differences between your version of the story and the original version. I think that the image you used goes well with your story, too. The way you wrote your story was very visual, so I had a mental image of everything as I was reading it. That can be really hard to do, and you executed it really well. Overall, I really liked reading your story, and I think your Portfolio is off to a great start. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey Savannah,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I loved how you incorporated The Lion King in your story. Growing up, that was one of my favorite movies so I was very excited to see what you did with it. Simba was a great leader so he was a perfect character to use. One thing that I noticed in your story, you made Nala be Simba’s mother. I was confused for a bit and had to re-read the story because in the movie, Nala grew up with Simba and soon became his spouse and not his mother. It’s not a big deal but it just got confusing. I wonder if maybe you could add Scar into this story to create another conflict. Just a thought!
Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story and can’t wait to read more!
I love that you expanded on this traditional, well known story! You set up a great setting in your introduction. I can really empathize with the parents in the next paragraph, as I can imagine just how scary it would be to lose a kiddo in the wild! I love Simba’s response- how wonderful this world would be if no one was a stranger. It would be so great if we could treat others how we would like to be treated, and expect the same in return. I love this story, great job!
ReplyDeleteI also read your story “A Game of Cat and Mouse”. I can identify with Jerry, as sometimes I think that I am ‘bigger’ than I really am, and sometimes it can get me into some trouble. I can also empathize with Tom- poor cat lives in a house full of mice and can never catch one! I bet the other cats make fun of him for it.
Great job on your project!!
Savannah,
ReplyDeleteIN. LOVE. with your story. I think you did an excellent job retelling the original and executing a your ideas whereas you changed different aspects. Simba has always been a favorite character of mine, but I think you did such an awesome job with the his characterizations. I was thrown a bit by Nala and her relationship with Simba, but it was a positive twist.
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ReplyDeleteThis was such an amazing and unique version of the story of jesus! I really enjoyed what you did with it and would be interested to read more stories based of bible stories. You have a very creative mind! You did a great job of creating the scene and making me feel like I was there. I hope that you continue writing especially pieces like this. Maybe making it a little bit longer and expanding the piece could give it a little bit more meat to the story. Overall great job!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Savannah! I really wanted to read your Portfolio because I saw the name “Simba” and I was instantly interested. I was curious to see if the story was going to be a spinoff of the Disney movie, “The Lion King,” or if you were just going to use some of the details such as the names. While I was reading your story about Simba straying from the Pride, I could really picture everything that was going on in my head. The way you wrote the story was very descriptive. I also love how you took the original story of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph travelling from Jerusalem and made it based off of the Lion King. That was so creative I definitely would not have thought of doing that!
ReplyDeleteIn regards to your Portfolio in general, I think you did an incredible job. Each of your stories is unique, and I feel like you did a great job picking a good variety of stories to include in the Portfolio. You did a great job this semester!